yawn. im dead beat.

supposed t go sentosa tday with cat but ended up at my jon's place.
didnt swim cos i forgot t wear my pants. lol.
anyway, met up with kevin at marine parade after our swim.
its magic time! hee hee.
he's a nice guy. right cat? hahahaha.
ate swensen.(: then walked arnd.
acc him t take his bus while we took ours.

supposed t meet jen n th e guys. but didnt. yeah. thats all for today.(:


i hope i'm smiling again.(:

thanks rika! :DDDDDD loves<3

woooo. just bathed. feel so much better off now.
im not here t please some people. (:

anw, i did some revision before i went for the dance workshop.
supposed t meet eliza at 7. gary called me arnd 6. he just woke up can?
so ive t wait for him while andreas was waiting for us as well. sry. ): lol.

we were so hungry then.
we reached there arnd 7.30 but still, we went t eat. lol.
rushed for the workshop. after that, went down and watch dharni perform his beat-boxing.
he was surrounded by his friends. we were there.
and his friends are all COOL. MAN! theyre all magicians. hahaha. amazing.

went t yoshi. dharni n the others left while the magicians stayed arnd cine.
andreas came ltr.
got t know erm, kevin frm somewhere in newyork.(: and huron. amazing people i can say. hahaha.
well, supposed t watch movie tnight. but all are gng t club. :/
kevin was thr t entertain me. :DDDDDD

im gng tanning tmr. pls pls pls dont rain and mense mense, dont come. mwahhhhh.
<3 love people.(:

that feeling came again. i feel im alone. so lonely.
everyone againsts me.
everyone ignors me.
hate me la okay?

i wanna die ah. can anyone just kill me? stab me in my heart or push me off the building?
or posion me? or wadever.
just kill me okay?

have not been blogging for few days. was kinda busy bout my art. finally, its done(:
i prefer guys who r younger den me. cos i think they look much more cuter. lol.

didnt get t sleep on wed. i was doing my art till 6am and didnt go t sch the next.
gary came over my place last afternoon. he was helping with my art. lol. thanksss(:
had dance workshop. after that, home t finish my art. i did till 4plus in the morning and woke up at 6. WOOO. im super duper tired.

malay friends were fighting during recess. i swear that's the most exciting show man.
lol. super violent. our DM almost got beaten up when he's trying t stop them. lol.
and those chinese ah bengs were super lame man. they got in the fight as well.
ah bengs suck. ;x
anw,tried t finish my art after sch. girls have t leave cos they're gng out.
was in the com lab alone. scary sial. lol.
went up t art room t leave my stuffs there.shane was there.
went down t dnt rm for my board. shane wanted t cut his board as well.
he sand my board for me.(: how nice. thanks sweets.

met my mum after sch. i bought a pants! (:
and i was supposed t meet eliza and gary but i was really tired and unwell.
sorry guys. :/


im super shag now. i dont know why. im missing someone...


so much.

maksim-hana's eyes.

-maksim.


im turning mad. really mad. i can't finish my art. damn damn fucking stress.
i really dont know wad t do man. can't do this, can't do that. dont know this, dont know that.
maybe dharni is right. my life is really lack of so many things.

i can't study. im poor in my english,math,chem,physics,his and art.
n's coming. i really have no time t prepare.
i can't dance. im weak in breakin',poppin',locking' and everything la.
i can't sing. my voice SUCKS!
i love piano, volin. no, i didnt get the chance t learn.
i wanna join CXV. no time management, no $$$.

SEE. i shouldnt be in this world man. i can't do a single thing properly.
what can i do beside these? i know practice makes perfect. but i dont even have the time how am i gng t practice? ARGH! fuck off man.



ilovemaksim.

i think im useless. i just realise i cant dance. ):

anw,back frm don's hip hop.
watched some old school dance (breakin')
damn, its super nice and funny. hahahhaa.

met gary at tamp control and went t meet eliza and liyi.
when we reached cine, i was lost. LOL. gary went missing sial. LOL.
ate food court. t avalon.
after everything, went t ljs with andreas,eliza,liyi,santhit,serene and jonathan.
funny sial. tongue poppin'. lol.

and im back home la.



maybe that's all i want frm you.(:

pics uploaded(:

i dreamt of this small japanese boy and he told me he loves me.
i was with another guy friend and tht jap boy thought he's my bf.
he passed me this key and he told me t open this door.
after opening the door, he'll disappear. i nvr wanted t open.
but that stupid fucking guy friend of mine went t open it. and. *TANG*
im awake. fuck sial. nb. lol.

gng t avalon ltr. don's hip hop. lovelove<3

YOOHOO! just came back from my supper with dharni.
he took a million yrs t ans my qns. lol.

and yes, i, emilia swear my mense gonna come tmr. DAMN!

wellwellwell, was out with my girls. supposed t go t bugis for a walk.
but we slacked in town instead.
ate our lunch, saw zac and justin and YES! I'VE BOUGHT MAKSIM DVDs.
was watching just now. he's super cuteeee esp when he smiles. hahaha.
okay, ermm waited for lionel outside cine. been a donkey yrs since i'v seen him.
we took neos! and back t cine-rocky t slacked. took lotsa photos sial. will update later. (:

lionel went off first and left the three of us. we crapped. CRAPPED okay. funny.
lol. saw isaac alone. poor lil thang man. lol.
den met my dear eliza t avalon. WAO. saw so many PEOPLE. er okay. infact just one attractive and its enough.hahahaa. watched them practicing. a lil while, went off with santhit and eliza.
i left without dharni. lol. met him up at tamp control. saw ah ying.(: and i have t go back home t take money t lend him money for his cab fare. lol. okay la. i asked him t take cab. (x
ate mac. he's full of crap again man. lol.
i wanna watch "land of the dead" (:
and im back home. my eyes are closing. yawn! -.-

love me if you can. (:

im back from tha dance workshop. WAO. today was super cool.
new friend, cindy. (: HOPE SHE JOINS AH. :DD

met gary and his friends at tamp control. damn! i was late. LOL.
den met andreas in the train.
went t play arcade. YEAH! i got 1ST for my "MR DIG" game again! hahahaha.
well well well, went t avalon for the workshop. fun fun fun!
and yeah, went t eat ljs after that. chit-chatted. cindy left. acc andreas t wait for his dad.
gary and i went t meet his friend. TOILET'd. wah. super scary sial. lol.
i cant walk. muscle cramp. lol.
gary and i walked the same path and im home sweeeet homeeeeeeee.(:

I WANT MAKSIM DVD! im broke. AHEM* anyone nice? tee hee hee.




will you be able t count the stars in the sky?
its getting more and more isnt it?
that shows how much i love you, boy. (:

feeling so cool right now. weather is SO right. yeah. thats wad i love. heh.

school was fine. had physic test. open book test. :DD
and BISHEN is now one of my sister. hee heee. my phone had full of his photos. LOL.
okokay. thats it. MWAH. loves<3


some songs reminds me of you. (:

looking into your eyes warmed me. (:

its raining.
it's cold.
it's freezing.
even though you're not by my side,
you're not here t hug me.
but listening t the song i love,
walking in the rain alone,
tasting and feeling the raindrops at the same time,
makes me feel so warm.

bad hair day. TSK.
school was fine. still rushing for art la.




croatian rhapsody-marksim(i think so)
if you could play this for me. heh.

BAD HAIR DAY AGAIN SIAL. wtf!
super irritated now. no idea also arh. and yes, dont promise things you cant do. fuck OFF la!

attended the ANW. met up with eliza and met andreas at avalon.
okay, its around 4hrs can? but obviously got break lar. anw, got t know some of their names.
LET ME RECALL. okay. gary,vincent,mika,jessica(cos its her birthday today),geraldine,justin,kenny,meifen. okay. no more. knw SOME of them only. i rmber their name. went t have our lunch. my dear eliza, andreas, gary,vincent and meeeeeeeeeeee.(:

den back t the workshop. and about an hr, finished. (:
slacked awhile.
den back home with eliza, andreas and gary.

was talking about art for the whole journey. lol. stress ah.
dinner'd with family. dont know wad happen t our family ah.
whenever there's family outing, sure got something happen.
bought my art stuffs den shopped for awhile den home'd.
mum starts nagging right beside my EAR.
TSK.


should i... give up? well.

GOOD HAIR DAY. :DD

had tuition this afternoon. headache.
mum n dad sent me t town.
waited for my dear eliza and she ate subway.(:
headed t avalon and got filled up this audition form.
had an appointment with ma ma G at 6 but was delayed.
micheal and liyi were there and the rest.

had a short "conversatin" with ma ma G.
den its eliza's turn.
not long after,we went t this coffee shop t have their dinner.
with micheal's friend as well. no idea how t spell his name. he's 23 this yr. LOL.

back t avalon for locking workshop.
after that, went t eat at cine. thanks my dear eliza. :DD
back t avalon again. talked t sabrina for a lil while.
slacked awhile den went t eat again. LOL.
this time was with my dear eliza, liyi, micheal, marcus, danny and that 23yr old guy. HAHA.
okay, im the youngster among themmmm. WAH LAO. stresss. lol. bt theyre niceeee lar. (:

went home with them after that.
den took the same train with danny. he alighted first.
well well well, they're nice! :DD

gonna wake up early t tmr man. gonna meet my dear eliza!

i miss my girls. love you all! hee. <3

every raindrop tells me how much i miss you. (:

WOOOHOOOOO. (: im dead beat man.
had bad hair day sial. just bathed and now my hair is like so soft man. LOL.
wth.

anw met up with eliza at cine. I WAS SUPER LATE. 2hrs I THINK. LOL.
im sorry honey. i overslept from my nap. HAHA. (x hope she dont mind ARH. :DD
didnt watch the movie la. ARGH! 2am sial. crazy. TSK. -stomp-

went t ljs t look for cat. but didnt see her. she msged me and said she saw me. IM LIKE -.-
WHY?! LOL.
ate yoshi for dinner.
met up with micheal and liyi t boarders. went there t meet wenling.
back t cine t meet santhit. (:

saw CERENA! my best friend when we were in those days. :/ miss you, lady. getting more prettier eh. :DD

went t avalon t watched them practices. we did some as well. andreas was there.
pop pop pop, lock lock lock, wack wack wack.
hope sabrina is fine. <3

den took mrt with eliza and dharni.
wanted t eat supper with micheal they all. but thought of gng back home, no money t take cab.
went t eat mac in tamp with dharni. super hungry. no choice. lol. he's full of crap la. hah. wad alien and everything. lol.
den he cabbed home and im back home. (: thats for today! good night. MWAH*-flying kiss-

i want the breeze, rains, wind t chase you away.

had our chem test.
wa lao. i studied wrong eqn. TSK!
anw, thanks sis, isaac and guanwei. :DD

we got approached by this korean girl. she's so pretty.
damn. i love koreans and another guy AHEM* is cute.
cos he was wearing braces. HEH HEH.
its some donations la. didnt donate ah.
we're broke. LOL.

went t tm for our lunch with jen.
cat, she had something on. YEAPS.

im back from dance workshop.
met up with andreas and eliza honey.(:
well well well, saw AHEM*. LOL.
cute cute cuteeeee. TEE HEE HEE.
fun fun fun!
DAMN MAN. still got chinese test tmr. WAH LAO.
test test test.

slacked at avalon after the dance. after our "french-fries session", we went up t dance on our own ah. we decided t choreograph our dance steps. haahah. the "EEA" LOL.

phew. gonna bathe now. (: nights people. cheer up yuani:DD


i decided t give up. :/

am studying history. damn stressed up with school work these few days.
nothing went inside.
2more months t n's. im not prepared. sigh.
so many things t think about.
and i think i did real badly for my oral. lol.
well well well.
and art work have t submit on 27th or 28th july. around 20+th.
WAH.
and sry if i offended anyone la. got very irritated these few days.

CAN ANYONE NICE T HELP ME WITH MY SCHOOL WORK?


my mind are full of you.

had our n's english oral today. cool. kinda nervous.
thanks honey for your blessing! :DD

i almost cried when they asked about "do u know any old people?"
the first thing came t my mind was my 'gong gong' ):
i miss him alott. :/

yeah. went t mac with my girls and popiah. LOL.
laughter are always be heard there when cat's around. HAHAHA!
damn damn damn! when a big big pimple appear on my face, its a sign that my mense's coming.
ARGH!



when am i suppose t tell you "i love you"?
when its gonna be my turn t say "i love you?"
when are u going t know?
when?

i just want you t be by my side.
i just want you.
just want you t be my best friend.

i feel so. hmmmm. down? shag? sad? maybe.
yeah. am not feeling so good.
well, the feelings aint good.


why? WHY? people around me? maybe.
got left out? got insulted? got teased? got hurt?
these can be the reasons.
am i that bad? well, maybe.


i want t be nobody.

how i wish i were you.

you're smart,
im not.

you're lucky,
im not.

you're pretty,
im not.

you're in love,
im not.

you're loved by someone,
im not.

you're happy,
im not.

and how i wish i were you.
but im not.

how i wish im brain-washed.
so that ive no more troubles.
start a new life without someone.

YAWN. just got up. i slept at 5am today. HAHA.

anyway, cat accompanied me for the audition at mediacorp ytd. LOL.
THANKS CAT :DD
damn man. that's really freak me out! HAHA. super scary.
kept forgetting the lines. wont get t select me. i know. and i dont want.
i'll just go there cos im asked to? yeah. try la. experience. its fun(:
there were only three of us. didnt know one of them is from UAN.
saw her at avalon. HAHA.
and yes, saw those wad "superstar" people from chnnl U.

mum and dad fetched me home. den out t meet eliza honey(:
dinner'd.
micheal came and we went t avalon for beat-boxing workshop.
HEH. i THINK i managed t do someeee ah. HAHA. fun man.
after that, was"hit-and-run".
didnt really do anything there.


caught FANTASTIC 4!
WOOOOOAAAA. damn, its nice!
eliza,dharni,bryant,xinwei and carol.
DAMN FUNNY!
were playing arcade before the movie starts.
the guys were playing PARA PARA. LOL.

wanted t take NR home.
we didnt notice the bus and left after another. lol.
took cab in the end.
was with carol, she left first. left dharni,bryant and me.
super funny in the cab lar. LOL.
alright.
enjoyed myself. imma happy girl(:


i WONDER if everything's true. well. :/
im WONDERING.

im back home.
met janet up at avalon for some appointment for the audition tmr.

DAMN. im super scared. i've nvr act beforeeee. NEVER!
how how how? TSK.
i tried t act. but i failed. i cried. 'cos i cant managed.
SO EMBARRASSING!
hope it'll be over soon. the sooner the better.
well, may my god bless meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :/

wenta meet up with cat.
then headed t heeren.
cass, iain, sasa and leon. PLUS cat and i lar.


yaya. not long after, went back t cine. looking for smth t eat.

okay. back home. EH! i saw this 'jialing's sister' in "YOUFU".
i think she's a butch. heh.

okay lar. im very very very stress now can. i scared i'll lose my way.
try la k. emilia. u can do it. (:
DAMN!

it sank again. and again. it'll nvr stop.

sis just cracked a SUPER LAME joke.

damn! i forgot t watch my 'manhunt' last night. FUCK ah. TSK.
WAH LAO. ARGH! lol.
"LOST" is getting lame. :/
"youfu" was damn funny la. lol.
he sang this cantonese song;
" bing gor wa ngoh saw..saw..saw..
cheng lei sek siew ngoh ngoh ngoh."
only those who watched will understand. LOL.

didnt go for workshop today DUE TO andreas is "TIRED" and we cancelled. lol.
im lazy as well la. (x

school was fine. I WANNA WATCH FANTASTIC 4!



im trying. i'll be able t make it. (:

im falling for you.

finished my tutorial at 9. luckily can watch "YOUFU"
*hiak hiak.

school was pretty fine today.
cat, she's mad. she's super funny, super lame. lol.



why cant i have the things i want?
why am i going things which im not suppose t do?
sigh.

thought oral was held today.
nah. next tue.


im super shag. can anyone nice t cheer me up? :/




the feelings totally suck.

WAH. english oral tmr. so breasty. TSK.



when is my mr right arriving? :/

The house is in silent now.
parents were shouting and screaming at each other in the evening.

about wad? well, money.
i dont want anymore tutorial.
i cant study. i cant do anything. I AM USELESS.
yes. i know.

mummy, dont vent your anger on us.
sigh.
dont born me out if u cant love me.



i need so much love.

i think im gonna shag forever until i get t see you.
until u msg me.
until u talk t me.
until u go out with me.
until u show me the love.
until u hold on me.
until we're able t be as one.


and that's just bullshit. dreams are bullshit.


**i looked around and found that u were with another love,
in someone else's arm.
and all my dreams were shattered all at once.

im back backk backkk.

im late for my port folio. im pissed. let's not talk about it.

went t yoshi for dinner. eliza came later.
cat left. thanks cat. (: andreas was alr at avalon.
so we went over and saw micheal and peeps. slacked around.
"unpluck or unplugde night" no idea. WAS GREAT! (:
before that, we were at the dance studio. micheal showed us some video tips bout popping,locking..........
MAN! that was superb.

there's some not-really-performance outside beside ljs. the road was closed.
there's stage and people were battling some breakdance.

micheal was dancing and the rest too. damn, that was hot and grps of malay ppl were SO high.
hahahhaa. so funnnnn. (:
OH YES! before i forgot, this old guy was dancing some thailand dance. LOL. the song dont match. funny man.
after that we went t cine t get their bubble teaaaaaaaaa.
and im back homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(:


i used t walk home alone with a smile.
although there were only some words,
i guess i should be contented.
i dont wanna ask for more.
maybe, not anymore.

im back from dance(:

went t k box with my girls. had a great fun! :DD
didnt go for locking workshop tday. AWWWW. but its okay.
went for popping instead. girls accompanied me t avalon. THANKS arh. (:


after the workshop, micheal, elize and i went t ntuc. THANKS micheal for the milk n sweets.
and back t avalon. watched them practicing with eliza. we sat there for like 2hrs? lol.
den off with people there. cine-ed.



peeps took train tgt but diff line.
so left with dharni, bryan and romeo east line la. so yeah.
LOL. we had great fun in the train. yeah. and im back homeeeeee. (:

new photos are uploaded. (:



i thought. something went wrong.

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night

I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold to keep to share

In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you untill the very end
In this world there is no place
I'd rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it allI know that you've come to see that
You're the one till the end

All my friend around me
Say you'd be gone too soon
Baby I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way back home

In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you untill the very end
In this world there is no place
I'd rather be
You are my life my soul my girl
And through it allI know that you 've come to see that
You're the one till the end
We'll always be till the end

im back from dance workshop. cool. im dead beat.


andreas's mum drove us t avalon.
he joined! (: hahahaha.

well well well, not much people today.
eliza, she's cool, nice. (:
my outfit sucks. cant dance at all. LOL. MAN! i think i should get myself a BETTER pants.
the dance was pretty cool.


slack'd with eliza downstair with liyi as well.
santhit was there. they went t eat after that. and im back home.
aint gng t sch tmr. no lesson. im YAWN.




i think i miss you as a friend. maybe :/